I was reading in Exodus this morning. I noticed after having spent some time- like days- away from the hustle of doing life outside my house – that I often do things just to tell myself I matter. Or to make my time seem less lonely by being out and well just doing. Buying things I don’t need to make me feel good. It was quite a brave thing to just sit at home and be. It was a minnie break through in my 30’s I guess to see this happen for myself. And I frankly, I want to continue the resistance to the pull that I have to push and be out or running over the house like a chicken with my head cut off – bossing the world around – just to feel busy. I don’t need to be doing that.
It felt nice to read my Bible slowly and pray… the courage of those woman who saved the babies and gently and very womanly had strength and faith in God enough to go up against the giant meanness that was Pharaoh. To save babies.
I want to develop that kind of courage someday.
I think well actually I know that I have had that kind of courage at different times in my life. It came from prayer and Believing. And it’s that blasted thing called being or looking busy to hide my lonely and find the significance that I already have- which is irony at it’s best- that’s kept me from talking to God in more than quick spurts of oh please help me. I honestly think its been a bit of fear mixed in with it all too. Because forever I will have that inkling that talking to God and those small surrenders that it takes to listen to Him are going to somehow keep me from something. Which is always untrue.
So, I’ll include the chapter in Exodus that I was reading today.
Exodus 1:8-21 NIV (it’s from BibleGateway.com)
8 Then a new king, to whom Joseph meant nothing, came to power in Egypt. 9 “Look,” he said to his people, “the Israelites have become far too numerous for us. 10 Come, we must deal shrewdly with them or they will become even more numerous and, if war breaks out, will join our enemies, fight against us and leave the country.”
11 So they put slave masters over them to oppress them with forced labor, and they built Pithom and Rameses as store cities for Pharaoh.12 But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread; so the Egyptians came to dread the Israelites 13 and worked them ruthlessly. 14 They made their lives bitter with harsh labor in brickand mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; in all their harsh labor the Egyptians worked them ruthlessly.
15 The king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, whose names were Shiphrah and Puah, 16 “When you are helping the Hebrew women during childbirth on the delivery stool, if you see that the baby is a boy, kill him; but if it is a girl, let her live.” 17 The midwives, however, feared God and did not do what the king of Egypt had told them to do; they let the boys live. 18 Then the king of Egypt summoned the midwives and asked them, “Why have you done this? Why have you let the boys live?”
19 The midwives answered Pharaoh, “Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive.”
20 So God was kind to the midwives and the people increased and became even more numerous. 21 And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families of their own.
I pray it might bless you in some way as well.