I suppose it was quite heady of me, but since I didn’t plan on committing any “very terrible” sins… although I know I’m capable (I don’t like that nasty bit of truth) …and since I didn’t in my mind think I would of ALL people ever, ever be mean to someone else (insert laughter!)…. then why Oh why would I ever ever need the Father to comfort me with the gift of His forgiveness in this season of my life? For me? I mean really? But low and behold… Oh how I need His forgiveness!
Oh how my mess of flesh doesn’t even know that high and lofty my way is the right way and, “How could you people ever!” attitude was exactly what would cause me to sin against another undeserving soul.
The eye opening realization of hurting someone else…. stings and bites the heart. Much the same as the feeling of being hurt by someone else, is the feeling of realizing you have done the hurting.
And absolutely no shame is allowed here any longer than to say, “Lord I need your forgiveness here” and the courage and opportunity to obey and gently but honestly fess up to the hurt party…about my being human too and missing something that God wanted me to see. This is probably a place to be short and to the point because what we are not doing is opening up the opportunity to become a human soul slave to this hurt person.
Apologizing is an act of obedience to Him. Not to them.
Letting our eyes open widely enough, our hearts to feel past our thought- to- be- right conviction on a gray area (like where to eat or how to pay for something or how to celebrate a holiday) letting our eyes open past these places is scary and well really scary but really freeing too.
We find we do have the heart space to let others wants trump our own a bit because of the love we have in us. His love.
Seeing my own depravity and need to be forgiven by Jesus for the very very long time I thought the people in my life were the reason that I am who I am today… oh how I finally see it is God who is responsible for making me His. And I know how good and not guilt ridden His love is.
Knowing this is the way our Heavenly Father loves, frees me to lean into living this way too. I say it that way because I have to learn to do this – break away from the unhealthy patterns. Following His easy to swallow way instead.
“Then your salvation will come down like the dawn,
and your wounds will quickly heal.
Your godliness will lead you forward,
and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.” Isaiah 58:8-9
Can I remind us all please that we don’t have to give a 5 star performance like we are always on American Idol in front of the judges all the time?? Just a simple, messy human attempt at doing what Jesus would want us to do is all I am aiming for. No applause will come. And none is needed.